Hate
Do I hate
DO I manage
They are Right They are wrong
WHat am I suppose to do
I love him
but I cannot trust him
I hate him for all he has done to me
I cant even feel the sympathy for him I once felt
He is draining me dry draining me slowly of ever little inch of me
I cant stop crying
Why cant I stop crying it isn't fair
Life isn't fair
Life sucks Life is hell what earth begot me so that I am to die
Death is a guarantee
I loved him
I am afraid I no longer do although I know
inside I want him near I want to feel him
I don't feel his pain I don't feel sorry that he has to do this
He never felt sorry for all I had to deal with its all about him
even as I watch him in a chat
He tries to grab attention with his sad faces and his asking for a doctor
and when everyone else busy doesn't answer he moops and says fine then I will just leave I mean
you cant tell me he is not selfish
It always has to be about him that's where his world lies
but that isn't mine
He isn't mine
He hates me, he blames my parents not even bothering to see the other side
everything is justified in his pain
How dare he be so cruel
How dare he claim to give a damn but never gave a damn
When I claim the same and don't and then leave and then he hurts and I don't give a damn the same claim I broke should I damn him for being like me?
What am I saying I give a Damn otherwise I wouldn't be here doing this I hate him so much for not being able to live up the fantasy
He hates me to although we both wont admit it ot each other
and it isn't my fault
ITS HIS FAULT that
things are the way there his fault that I am like this that I am bitching leaving hurting hoping dying hating

He's the one that lied and lied and lied thinking I would never give in
He is the one that thought he could put everything off that I would wait forever

Well screw him if it is meant to be its meant to be and Fate will find a way

Screw them all I don't need his crap on my shoulders
So why do I feel guilty he claims I am his life line
and I am the only problem is he is drowning me while saving himself
Sure he loves the one who saves his life
But who am I
What am I
Where am I

Now that I have pushed him away Will he drown will he survive
I am worried now I love him
Foolish heart I am

I am so confused so Lost

WHere am I to begin?
Where do I start to rebuild from what I was?
What do I want to be?
Am I still to believe in Love now that I have pushed him away

I am afraid he will come back
I am afraid he will come back like it was online and never be relaly with  me
Will he always taunt me taunt me like a liontrainer with a peice of meat the donkey with the carrott dangling right infront of him
He does that, it is what he is good at he gets what he wants he gets me and I get nothing but the want of him
Online isnt real to me as it is to him it isnt fair

Perhaps they are all right and even he doesn't realize what he does and how he is

Such a baby

I am 16 I don't need a baby

I am screwed

I hate him for all the things he does and will do
but I hate him even more cause I can still say I love you to him
with meaning because I sadly do


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